Our Children Need Mothers Who Can Grow As People

You, like most mothers, wonder how you can best raise your child or what you can do for him. However, the best thing that all mothers can do for our children is to question ourselves as human beings.

It seems a lie! But that deep questioning of our being and our actions is the best way to grow as people.

Many mothers “inaugurate” deep inquiries about our personality and our actions when we have children, sometimes this happens because we find ourselves without tools to address certain situations or because we have a deep and genuine desire to do the best so that our baby is develop fully.

Those genuine desires to ensure that our children’s life history is happier than ours are very good, the point is that the internal exploration should not begin by asking ourselves what we can do to make my child happy but what I can do to be happy myself. It may sound selfish, but we certainly can’t give what we don’t have.

Grow from within

Argentine psychotherapist Laura Gutman illustrates this last point as follows: “Before thinking about what to do with children today, we must necessarily know what happened to us when we were children. Then we will have to make personal decisions about what to do with what has happened to us ”.

So it is better to start by remembering or rebuilding the girl we have been, what happened to us when we were children, because when we do not, we remain immature and loaded with childish fears, with which we may fantasize about finding “effective methods” provided by third parties, with whom we aspire to raise happy children.

This is almost impossible because such “effective methods do not exist” and also because it is not possible for us to deal with reality or an issue by avoiding it, looking for third ways such as someone providing us with an effective parenting method.

Our children, Gutman asserts, need fathers and mothers who are in a constant state of deep questioning. This state should lead us to grow as people, since such questioning should generate deep changes in us, or at least a greater understanding of our hearts; which will also trigger a greater understanding of the circumstances of others.

Growing up is an act of bravery

Your child needs a mother stripped of childhood fears, one who has reconstructed her personal history and who recognizes that nothing bad can happen to her.

All this process, when well accompanied, generates a mother willing to assume her emotional reality – whatever it may be – and also an open mother to connect with the beauty and delicacy that each child brings.

So more than manuals or courses, what your child needs is that you as a mother and your partner as a father are in a constant spiritual search that leads them to grow as people.

The idea of ​​walking these spiritual paths is that these are enlightening paths that lead to a deep sincerity that also requires constant and exhaustive review.

The objective of that pilgrimage, of that review of our personal history as girls, which can certainly run into painful episodes and reveal to us a child who at times felt abandoned, is that by walking you can transform yourself into a mother capable of accepting your child as he is: with his way of approaching situations, his sensitivity and his perceptions.

But to come to accept your child as he is and therefore love him as it is necessary to mature emotionally and spiritually, only then can you unconditionally love your child.

And it is that unconditional love – which is achieved from the certainty of a mother who has overcome her fears as a child (which although we do not believe it, many times they are still there), is that you will be able to raise a child, with your own parenting model that it is based on values ​​such as respect, love and understanding. And a child raised like this will surely be an adult who will offer the same to his fellow men.