Adopted Children: Adaptation Process And Tips For Parents
Many of the adopted children have been through difficult situations, and the adoptive parents are often unaware of them. These situations that children have gone through before being adopted cause them to have considerable emotional and physical deficiencies .
All children who are adopted have to go through a process of adaptation, and this will depend on multiple factors such as their medical history, their emotional history, their genetics, age … Older children tend to have gone through more unpleasant situations and that they will drag with them. In the following lines we will see how the adaptation of the adopted child can be, as well as some tips for parents.
Adaptation process of adopted children
It is important that parents who have adopted or will take into account the reactions that can occur most frequently in adopted children when they finally arrive at their new home. The adaptation process can be divided into three parts :
The bonding process
The bonding process is usually built during the child’s first year and is based, above all, on love, affection and affection. Some of the adopted children have not known these aspects nor have they received any security from their biological parents or centers where they have been until their adoption.
The challenge for parents who adopt is to establish a solid emotional bond with them and achieve, through love, reduce or even erase the consequences of their past experiences.
It is totally normal that, at first, they are afraid or reject their new parents, that they appear sad or, on the contrary, very active and that they try to attract attention. All they need is to be constantly shown the unconditional love their new parents feel for them.
The learning process
Some adopted children have not had enough stimulation in their early stages of development and may have certain delays in some areas such as speaking, reading, writing, maintaining attention, etc. They need the patience and love of their parents and, if they need the help of a professional to improve their development, do not hesitate to provide it.
The behavioral process
Many children, at first, continue to maintain the bad habits they had before being adopted : poor hygiene, problems eating or going to sleep, disobedience, aggressive behaviors, challenging behaviors, etc. We can correct these with a lot of love, patience and affection. Also, some children may have sleep problems, nightmares or night terrors, as well as hyperactivity.
Tips for Parents of Adopted Children
On many occasions, parents of adopted children feel lost, guilty and overwhelmed by certain reactions and behaviors that the little ones show and that they do not understand. It is important to handle these doubts and problems with tact and, if it is believed that this cannot be achieved, seek the help of a specialist.
Here we are going to see some tips that may be useful if you have thoughts of adopting or already have adopted children.
Try to know as much as you can about her pre-adoption history
It is important that, as far as possible, you know the child’s story to get an idea of what you are up against . Sometimes the little ones have had fetal distress because their mother has smoked, taken drugs, or drank alcohol during pregnancy. This is important to keep in mind, because these children will have greater problems adapting.
Have a lot of tranquility and serenity with them
When the little one comes home, you have to be as calm and calm as possible; the child needs protection, since it is a moment of bewilderment and novelty that he is facing . It is not convenient that you burden him with numerous gifts; they are not used to so many things and you could overwhelm them.
Putting yourself in the shoes of adopted children
Adoptive parents have to be very clear that the child has a previous history , that they have been in need or that they have faced significant losses and need time to adapt to the new situation. Putting yourself in their shoes can go a long way.
Have understanding and help from the closest environment
The whole family environment has to be ready for the arrival of the child . If you already have a previous child, you can read stories about this topic in advance. The elders of the family have to avoid making inappropriate comments about the previous life of the little one and treat him as one of the others.
Don’t be in a rush to take them to school
It is important that they stay home at first so that you can show them your love and that they can trust you , giving them a home and a family. If you take him to school early, they may feel like you’re ditching them.
Give them lots of displays of affection, lots of skin to skin
As a final tip, but no less important, it is important that you give them all the love, caresses, hugs, kisses that you can; without forcing, but not without scarcity either . It should not be forgotten that what these children need most is affection, feeling the skin of their parents, feeling important to their family and being loved and cared for, regardless of where they come from.
About adopted children we can say …
Ultimately, all adopted children need to adjust, and parents need to be patient, loving, and collected . It must be clear that they can present different behavioral problems due to the fact that previously their life was different and they have been able to face very harmful situations for their physical or psychological health.
Therefore, they need to feel important, trust their new parents and perceive themselves as one of the family . This would be key for a good adaptation of the little ones.
