Dear Son, I Will Not Put Burdens On You That Do Not Belong To You

Dear son, I will not place on you inherited mandates, personal frustrations or burdens that were, are and will be mine alone. Dear child, I will educate you to be free, to build your own path without any weight on your shoulders, mind and heart.

Let’s talk today in ” You are Mom ” about all those invisible burdens that we guard as people, as beings that are part of a life cycle where sometimes, we drag the odd emptiness, bitterness, disappointment or limiting attitude. Those that in turn, we inherit from our parents or that even other people have imposed on us without us noticing.

As we have pointed out on many occasions, nothing is more important when it comes to being mothers and fathers than taking care of ourselves psychologically as people. This undoubtedly implies doing internal “cleaning”, healing many of those personal abysses that almost without seeing or noticing it, permeate our upbringing, our way of educating the little ones.

Next, we suggest you delve into this topic on which all of us should reflect.

Children should be free, let’s not put our burdens on them

Children must walk lightly to be able to look up and feel the life, happiness and magic of opportunities that will always be within their reach if they feel worthy of them. However, if we educate with burdens, we wire these perspectives so that little by little our children will grow up with fears, insecurities and limitations, the kind that veto happiness.

Now … what do we understand by charges? In what way can we be instilling in them these dimensions that for many parents are almost unconscious? We will talk about them below.

The burden of “I want what” ….

The burden of “want what” can have its positive side and its negative side. These would be some simple examples of them:

• I want my son to be the smartest in the class
• I wish my daughter is the prettiest of all girls
• I want my children to take care of me tomorrow because after all, they owe it to me.
• I want my son to be an architect and my daughter a surgeon.

• I want them to be obedient, formal people, who have certain political orientations and who form solid families in which I can also support myself.

In these sentences we can undoubtedly intuit the expression of that education created with very limited molds where parents design how their children’s lives should be. It is not appropriate, then let’s turn these ideas around:

• I want my son to be happy, to lead the life he wants
• I want my children to be free, to be able to fight for their own goals, the ones they choose.
• I want my son to go as far as he wants, but never forget where his home is and the people who will love him always do what he does and wherever he is.

The burden of fear

The burden of fear is the most fearsome of all the burdens on parental ties. Parents who fear that their children will grow up, that they will do this and that, that they will end up hurt, that they will be rejections, that almost obsessively anticipate exaggerated risks, erect a toxic education where the child ends up being dependent and immature.

The burden of “I’m afraid they will grow up and leave me forever” is undoubtedly the most characteristic of all.

The burden of “you must do what I could not”

This is undoubtedly a very common characteristic in many generations of parents. Many of us were educated on the need to improve ourselves, to access everything that our parents did not have or did not achieve at the time.

Thus, it is common that sometimes children are forced to practice such a sport, discipline or study certain things and careers because in essence, they are frustrations of the parents themselves, facts that have not been achieved now that the children must comply with.

Let’s avoid these behaviors. We are able to get to know our children to help them do and achieve what they want, and not what we want.

Dear son, I take care of myself as a person to give you the best of me

Reflect on it, remember it every day. You must take care of yourself as a person, you need to heal as a woman, heal as a man, you must repair with the threads of affection and resilience those voids, those frustrations so that none of those shadows reach what you love most: your children.

If you feel good, if your self-esteem is strong, your heart is worthy, and your mind is free from dark corners where possible traumas and disappointments lie, rest assured that you will give your best to your children . Avoid your own burdens, put on them the veil of illusion, wrap them with the warmth of hope and put in their hands the ability to boldly build their own paths.

The ones they want as they mature by your side.