Learn To Say Goodbye To Your Child When You Go To Work

When you go to work without saying goodbye to your baby, he is puzzled. He does not understand why he was with his mother recently and suddenly, as if by magic, she has disappeared. This situation causes him great confusion and that is why he begins to ask about Mom without understanding if she will return or not, for how long and why she has left without even saying bye!

When our children are young and we need to leave the house, we often take advantage of a moment of distraction to open the door and disappear as if by magic.

We do it to prevent the child from seeing us and starting to cry. Sometimes we even ask a family member to entertain the baby so that we can leave the house before they know it, however this is a big mistake, because the ideal is that we learn to say goodbye to the child before leaving.

It will be difficult for your baby to detach himself from you during the first three years of his life, after that stage he will understand that your departure will not be short and that you will soon be at home to continue pampering him.

Firing you is more than necessary

It is very likely that the baby does not like the idea of ​​you leaving and will surely cry; but this expression is healthy as well as normal since it is showing its feelings.

Don’t succumb to crying! Or at least try it, the idea is to implement ways to say goodbye until you find the right one, with which you can communicate with which the baby can understand that even if you leave, you will come back soon.

When you create the habit of saying goodbye, your child can associate that you leave but then come back, which will prevent the baby from staying at home crying. Saying goodbye is important as it helps the baby to better assimilate the separation process.

Generally there are children who, at the slightest separation from their mother, cry desperately. If your child cries every time you leave him in the care of a relative, you will feel so bad that in the end you will choose never to separate from him, but this will only make the situation worse.

You have to gradually and patiently get him to get used to being away from you. And even if you don’t believe it, saying goodbye will also be less distressing for you, because you will leave home knowing that you have not used tricks to deceive your baby.

Farewell is a ritual

Try not to be distressed by their “suffering”, understand that their crying is part of a normal stage of their development, one that most children go through. Do not think that it will be like this all your life, one day he will suddenly let go of you and be delighted to meet new people. The idea is that this happens naturally, without representing a trauma in the child.

It is also good to try to spend some time every day with other people from the family environment such as grandparents, uncles, friends, this process will be less drastic if you are present at first. When you gain confidence with other people and have fun with them, it will be easier for you to be alone with them since you will remember the good times that you spend with them.

You should not only get used to being with other people, but also to being alone, so the next step to make this happen is that you are not present.

Leave him in the park or in the crib with toys and leave the room for a moment; And of course stay close in case he cries or something happens to him. At first he may cry a little, but he will eventually find his toys and you will see how quickly he starts to play with them.

Mom, even say bye!

Leave with a smile, do not see you distressed or worried about their reaction. And above all, don’t back down. Even if you hear him cry, go away and do not extend the goodbye, be confident that you are leaving him in good hands and that nothing bad will happen to him.

Try to set limits and make your baby understand that there are times when they should leave you alone. For example, when you go to the bathroom or kitchen.

And above all, never sneak away or lie to him saying that you will come back right away if you are not going to be able to comply, with this you will only make him distrust you and live in anguish.

Many mothers tend to leave home secretly from their children so that they do not suffer while they see them leave, but this attitude is not good for the child. On these occasions, it is convenient to explain to the baby, no matter how small, that mom is going to work, for example, and say “bye”.

Otherwise, the situation for the boy is confusing and he can interpret that the mother leaves, disappears, does not exist, because your baby does not yet have the mental capacity to symbolize that you are in another place, therefore it must be taught to him.

A very appropriate game is the one in which the mother covers herself and uncovers herself and you ask her: “where is mother?”. This simple game can serve to symbolize absence.

The baby understands the intention of the things that are said to him, the tone and the feeling that is transmitted to him, although he cannot put it into words. That is why it is important to talk to him calmly, explain that you are leaving, but that you are going to return. Little by little you will understand and the separation will be less traumatic.