The Danger Of Wanting Perfect Children

Many parents, because of our desire for our children to be the best, we forget that we are subjecting them to pressure that can harm their health.

We are in a society in which we compete daily to be the best or for our children to be, but we do not realize the danger of wanting perfect children. This excessive interest in wanting our children to be the best hurts them and can damage their health.

Many parents have our children put under a lot of pressure in an attempt to make them excel in everything they do. We do not consider the fact that our children fail because, if they do, we fail. It is clear that parents do not do it with bad intentions, but we are damaging the health of our children.

Parents who demand too much: the danger of wanting perfect children

Many children between 6 and 12 years old feel stressed and overwhelmed by the amount of activities imposed by their parents and that they have planned throughout every day of the week. It is true that extracurricular activities are not a problem and that they can be beneficial for children, but as long as they are not in excess.

Many parents think that by pointing our children to various extracurricular activities, they will be better and we do not realize that we are hurting them. When little ones have such a busy schedule, they feel compelled to respond to it and pressured to meet their parents’ expectations of them, without making any mistakes.

It is clear that during the first 6 years of a child’s life is when their brain has a greater potential and capacity to learn, but this does not mean that if we point them to early attention, to English activities, music, sports, etc. , they will be better.

In fact, it has been shown that all this overstimulation does not benefit your brain at these young ages, but, in some cases, can be very detrimental to its development.

Consequences for children of wanting perfect children

As we have said before, loading children with an excess of activities can have negative consequences on their development. Some of them may be the following:

• Performance problems due to pressure.
• Feelings of frustration, blockage and demotivation if they do not reach the goals set by their parents.
• Socialization problems; children are so immersed in reaching the top that they have no room for play and socializing.
• High levels of stress and anxiety.
• Somatizations due to stress: stomach or headache pain, irritable bowel, gastritis, weight loss, chronic fatigue, etc.

• Generalized discouragement and loss of interest in the things they really like.
• Internet addiction.
• More irritability, more irascible.
• Greater dependence on their parents, so they can become insecure without their presence.

These are some of the consequences that can occur in children if we subject them to excessive pressure due to the desire to want them to be the best and to be perfect.

Tips for parents on the danger of wanting perfect children

Of course parents do not want to harm our children. Many times, due to ignorance of the consequences of these pressures, instead of helping, we are harming the little ones. Without realizing it, we are creating an adult future without the ability to accept their mistakes, with complexes and sadness.

Still, we can use some tips to try not to pressure kids to be perfect.

• Let the little ones comment on mistakes and fail. We have to see this as a learning opportunity; thanks to these mistakes you learn.
• Let the children be free to choose the activities they want to do, not us to impose them.
• We should not monitor and judge their performance harshly, since, in this way, they will stop being interested or see those activities fun.
• Set goals according to the abilities and tastes of our children. Problems will arise when these goals are not in the direction they need to be.
• Talk to them and help them decide what activity they want to do ; nothing should be imposed in an authoritarian way.
  

More tips for parents

• Give signs of affection and permanent support. Without this children will feel lonely and insecure.
• Parents must have expectations of our children, but we cannot expect them to achieve them immediately and without encountering any obstacles in their way.
• Recognize the progress and achievements of the little ones.
• Value the effort more than the result. Congratulate them whenever there is an effort, even if the grade was not the best.
• Provide a calm, friendly and respectful family environment.
• Give them their own space as they grow; they need time for them without constantly being on top of us.
• Let them get bored, because boredom encourages creativity and imagination. If they don’t have time to get bored, these areas won’t develop enough.

In short, we have already seen the danger of wanting perfect children and the consequences that this entails for children. If we do not remedy these attitudes, we will be creating an overstimulated generation in which there is no time to be bored, without patience and full of loneliness.

If we want our children to learn and be happy, we have to avoid pushing them with too many tasks or activities, giving them time to get bored, to do nothing and to unleash their creativity. We should not worry so much to make them the best, but to make them happy.