When You Cry, I Will Hug And Comfort You Whenever I Can
I always feel a little bad when I hear my children cry. Like any mother, I don’t like to see them hurt, disappointed, or sad. I hate that sometimes they get so frustrated that they can’t control it or that they can’t express their emotions. Sometimes crying is the best way to express those emotions that you cannot say otherwise. For this reason, when I see one of them sad I tell them: “When you cry, I will hug you and comfort you.”
I know that experiencing a wide range of great emotions is a healthy part of young children’s lives, but it can still be very difficult to process. It has nothing to do with being overprotective, but rather about the affection they need to be able to process those emotions, understand them and work on them.
My heart aches and my stomach twists
The emotional lows our children go through can be difficult for parents to handle, because we know how much it hurts to be so distraught over something that it seems like crying is the only way to feel better.
And while for an adult this frustration could mean fighting with a partner or making a mistake at work, for a young child it could mean things that matter a lot in their little world, even if it means not having macaroni and cheese for dinner or not being able to. go to the park.
As parents, we want to snap our fingers, fix the situation, make our children happy again, but reality often has nothing to do with this. Sometimes we can’t figure out which magic trick will fix the situation and sometimes they ‘re too young to find the words to tell us what’s wrong.
One thing that I know always makes me feel better and that helps my children too is picking them up and holding them until they calm down. When I hear one of them cry, I go to him and pick them up, and I don’t feel guilty about it.
This works for us and it may not always work for you, but children need it and if they need a hug to calm them down I will do that, whenever I can and will allow it.
So my baby when you cry I’ll be there for you
- When you cry about losing your favorite stuffed animal, I will hug you. I know this is a difficult situation for you to understand and accept and I want to be there for you.
- When you cry because your feelings are hurt, I will hug you. I want you to know that it is okay to express feelings.
- When you cry because you fell in the park, I will hug you. That will scare you and I know my arms will make you feel safe again. I will encourage you to keep going, but I want you to feel better first.
- When you cry because you are tired, I will hug you. Sometimes I also want to cry when you are tired. Sometimes my patience wears out and I need a break. But, I will do my best to preserve my last bits of that patience that I have left and I will help you calm down.
What’s more…
- When you cry because you are fighting with your sister, I will hug you (and your sister too). I will hug you as we talk about being kind to each other and the importance of protecting each other. I will encourage you to apologize and try again.
- When you cry because you are angry because your tower of colors fell, I will hug you. I will validate those angry feelings and listen to you. Maybe we’ll even sing a song that you really like to cheer you up.
- When you cry because you can’t get away with it, I will hug you. I will gently explain that the answer may not always be “yes . ” Sometimes, it’s going to be “no” and you may not like it, but that’s how life goes. But I will hug and kiss you and try to make you laugh. I promise I will try to improve it.
One day you will cry and I can only try to comfort you over the phone. One day you will cry and I will not be the one you turn to first. One day you will cry and my arms will not be the solution.
And when I think about it too much, I honestly cry. I know that you will grow into an amazing, independent and capable adult. And I want that more than anything. But thinking about the days when I will not be so necessary and my arms will not be so comforting, my heart breaks a little, although it will be because today I have done well and my hugs have helped you grow.
So, right now, I’ll hold you. I will choose to pick you up. I will choose to comfort you with hugs and kisses. For as long as you leave me For as long as I can.
